Hot Christmas and a silly New Year
Saturday, 3 January
It’s been a little while since my last blog post - I’d like to apologise to my fans - essentially, the two people who asked me if this site was still working. My excuse is that I’ve been having a great time and the blog went on the back-burner.
Before I touch on the drunken merrymaking that dominated the Christmas Day to New Years Day period - ‘silly season’ as it’s affectionately known by the Aussies - I would like you to know that I did manage to squeeze some ‘culture’ in on Christmas Eve during my return to Melbourne. I tagged along with the Ol, Josh and Gabs (mum to the Ainley boys) to go to the Heide Museum of Modern Art, a sculpture park nestled in North East Melbourne that attempts to blend subversive contemporary art with heritage gardens. We unanimously agreed it did not come close to Yorkshire Sculpture park back in the UK. We strolled through the grounds and were not massively impressed with what we saw - we often couldn’t work out if an object was an art display or had just been left there and forgotten about. Thankfully, Josh was happy to play muse and really brought some of the sculptures to life (see pics). The highlight of this little excursion was Josh’s homemade reuben sandwich which we tucked into (from that colourful picnic bag) less than 20 minutes after arriving at the park. You know that situation where you bring a picnic to a park, beach or just on a general adventure, and everybody wants to eat the picnic as soon as you get there but everybody is too tentative to suggest starting it in case you come across as a bit of a heathen? Yeah, we had no problems there.
It was undoubtedly a strange feeling to wake up on Christmas day at 9 am to near silence apart from the buzz of my ceiling fan in my Airbnb in Richmond, East Melbourne. It left me reminiscing about being woken up to the usual wrap of knuckles on my bedroom door or calls of ‘Tom, get up!’ from downstairs back at my mum’s house in Nottingham.
However, knowing full-well that I had imposed this ‘orphan Christmas’ upon myself, I mustered the energy to get out of bed and flick the fan off (I felt a tinge of guilt about keeping it on all night). I was very fortunate in that I had been invited to spend Christmas Day with the Ainley’s over in Fitzroy, thanks to the generosity of Gabs and the fact that they weren’t sick of me yet (as far as I knew). The whole day really hit the mark of a ‘hot Aussie Christmas’ as it featured Hawaiian shirts, makeshift party hats and spicy margaritas (see pics). It was also great to be able to put on specifically ‘non-Christmasy’ music. Naturally, before bodies started to drop towards midnight, following the amazing roast dinner that Josh and Gabs had prepared and the strong margaritas Ol and I had mixed, I managed to get another game of Top Trumps in with Ol. This time it was the ‘Kings and Queens’ edition, and, safe to say, I can’t remember who won but I guess that’s rather convenient.
On Boxing day, the 4th test match of the 2025 Ashes series between England and Australia commenced in Melbourne at the Melbourne Cricket Ground (otherwise known as the MCG - the 11th biggest stadium in the world by the way). Thanks to Ol dutifully staying up until 3am on some day mid-June earlier this year, he had managed to secure tickets to Day 2 (27th) and Day 3 (28th) of this test. Unfortunately, by this stage in the series, England had already lost the Ashes as Australia had won all three of the previous tests in Perth, Brisbane and Adelaide. England were playing for the moral victory.
Despite this, the importance of this 4th test should not be underestimated. England had not won a test on Australian soil in 15 years. A victory would end an 18-match, 5,468-day drought since their last win in Australia back in 2010. It’s safe to say that in the five-week build-up to this fourth test at the MCG, I had become completely consumed in the cricket jargon - the run rates of England batters, the injuries to Australia’s bowling attack and whether the secret to Australian Travis Head’s batting form was his glorious moustache.
So, at 10.30 am on the 27th December, we strolled through the grounds and settled into our seats at the MCG and we were incredibly close to the action (see vid). We held our breath as England’s Gus Atkinson delivered the first ball of the day to Travis Head with England desperately needing quick wickets, as Australia had started the day (and the second innings) 46 runs ahead. After the first over (which normally takes 5-10 mins), Josh announced he was going to buy the first few schooners (beers) of the day. A little aggressive I thought but looking around the 95000 seat stadium, basking in the sun, listening to the murmuring crowd and with some (early) beers on the way, I started to understand why people get hooked on this sport. The sport is played at a leisurely pace, encouraging conversation, analysis and quick bets between the onlookers, but the momentum swings of the match keep you enthralled for the whole eight hours - yes, that’s right, eight hours, (sometimes on five continuous days if the wickets don’t fall quickly enough).
This time the wickets did fall quickly enough and the game was being played at a fierce pace. After some fine bowling by Captain Ben Stokes as well as Brydon Carse, propped up by England’s best batting performance of the series where their aggressive ‘bazball’ hitting actually came good, all four innings were complete by the end of day two and England had won with 178 runs and four wickets remaining. Twelve schooners deep, supported by one lunch time beverage with some of the UK crew who had travelled to Aus for Christmas (Becky, Aimee, Dom and Oli from left to right), and we couldn’t help but join in with ‘ole’s’ from the Barmy Army as Harry Brook and Jamie Smith, our final two batters, exited the field. In some ways we felt a little robbed because we only got one day of cricket but had paid for two. However, the much bigger losers were Cricket Australia who are reported to have lost $10 million due to refunds as well as lost sales in merchandise, food and drinks for days 3-5. It’s all about the little victories!
New Years Eve never really goes to plan does it? Or at least it misses the inevitably high expectations that we place upon it…I had booked tickets (well I thought I had) to NY@thebowl, a one-day music festival at Sidney Myer Music Bowl which is situated aloft a hill in the Royal Botanical Gardens. There were some amazing artists on the bill including Berlioz, Confidence Man, two of my favourite DJs in Prosumer and Alex Kassian, and Underworld, a pioneering electronic music duo (you’d recognise their track ‘Born Slippy’ if you’ve not heard of them). However, when I walked up to the gate it turns out there was an error with my ticket and I was swiftly denied entry. I begrudgingly trudged back through Melbourne’s CBD to my flat in Carlton and scrambled for a plan B. A serious lowlight of my trip so far! Thankfully, Kate, a friend of a friend through Ol, who I had met a few weeks ago, was having dinner in Collingwood so I cheekily asked for an invite. I joined her and a friend for a set menu at an Italian restaurant called Orlo (not quite what I was expecting for NYE).
After a mediocre meal with good company (including a rather flirty gay waiter who was enjoying our vibe), we jumped into a taxi to Northcote Bridge to watch the fireworks. Granted we were a bit far away in Northcote, about 5km from the CBD, but even still Melbourne’s fireworks were a bit like party poppers in comparison to London’s display (see video). If you listen closely you can hear a slightly slurred outburst from me: ‘you can barely see ‘em!’. Feeling a little underwhelmed we headed to Northcote Theatre where we saw Bradley Zero, a good DJ who flipped flopped between underground house vibes and soulful mixes, he put some energy back into our evening for sure. At 3 am we all parted ways and I left feeling slightly less bruised after my ticket mix-up.